19 October 2011

Opinions are like A-holes

Welcome back to another I wonder Wednesday where I will likely offend someone, lose a follower, make you laugh until you pee yourself or teach you some corrupt new word you didn’t know existed before today.  All things aside just know that my I wonder Wednesday posts are honestly light hearted and in good fun.

Opinions are like assholes… Everyone's got one and everyone thinks everyone else's stinks.  We all know the saying.  Yesterday I came face to face with a real stinker!

I’ve been couponing lately.  Saving loads of money.  Stocking up on foods and brands we love.  It’s been real fun.  Until yesterday. See I went to a store that had a great sale going on for some of my kids favorite juices.  They are normally $3.99 and with the sale and my coupons I could get them for $1.50 each.  So I bought 16 of them since I had coupons for that many and I was sure they would expire before I found another deal this great on this juice.  Here is the awesomeness I came home with today.


Since I am still fairly new to this no matter how prepared I think I am I always still seem to fall short of totally awesome when I get to the register.  I am either forgetting coupons or got the item that doesn’t go on sale until tomorrow etc… Today I got to the register and forgot that I had not activated my new debit card yet and had to go all the way home to do it from my home phone!  Ugh!

So now here I am back at the store with the stuff on the belt… A couple boxes of cereal, some pop tarts and my juice when I hear a grouchy voice from behind me… “Do you really think your family is gonna drink all that juice?”

I turn to look and confront the ill intentioned shopper to find this staring back at me…

Grumpy Woman

It was like a sweet old lady without the sweet.  In fact she was quite sour.  Many many things immediately ran through my head as I searched for an appropriate response.  Like this one that I am putting into my memory banks for next time “Not that it’s any of your business but these are being donated to a batter women's shelter to help women children of domestic violence”.  Or another one that came to mind and may very well have slipped out had I not taken my meds today was “Do you really think you’ll be needing those lips to talk with?  Because I just might remove them from your face”.  And the last one was “I bet you wished you had some of this juice during the great depression didn’t you?”

In the end I replied ever so you picked the wrong day to piss me off  sweetly…  I’m sure my children will have no problem polishing these off in no time.  Not to mention I wont have to buy juice for a while.

But I really wanted to say something like “I bet if I had 16 boxes of tampons sitting here wouldn’t be asking if I thought I would actually use them all now would you?!!”

I wonder… why do people feel it’s their business to express their opinions about other peoples daily on goings?  I wonder why this woman cared at all what I was purchasing and why she felt the need to vocalize it to me.  I wonder why god didn’t make me deaf so I didn’t have to listen to stupid people.

What did you wonder about this week?



Amanda said...

LOL! I must admit I have wondered sometimes about the quantities of certain items some folk have placed at the checkout, I recently saw one lady with about 15 boxes of tissues for blowing your nose, which I thought was odd, but never would I dare to say it! I'd hate someone to comment on my shopping, so I wont go there with anyone else's!
Some people just have too much to say, and most should really keep it to themselves.

Sharon said...

lol, that's too funny!! The things some poeple say. So many people wouldn't have been as nice as you where. I know we have four kiddos and the things I hear. I will think of your post next time and I sure I will start to laugh right where I stand. :)

Cassie @ Primitive & Proper said...

LOVED this post! i cracked up because i can't stand people like that either. UGH! i used to be a personal trainer and i woud go to the grocery store and have people who knew me from the gym comment and look at what was in my cart... so i freaking like ice cream, too??? it pissed me off. guess they expected me to have a cart full of eggs and lettuce.

Bonnie said...

She may just have been very lonely and was trying to start a conversation

www.MaisonStGermain.com said...

OMG I know exactly how you felt. There are busy bodies everywhere. I just want to tell them to back off. But I am usually nice to them and hope they go away;) I always wonder if it made their day being like that 'cause I just don't get it nor would I ever but into anyones business like that. Good for you for being the bigger person.
~Debra xxx
capers of the vintgage vixens

Kristie-Creating Chaos said...

Lol. I would have said, "They're all for me. It makes my vodka healthy."

Mel @ junkinjunky.blogspot.com/ said...

I'm always stumped for words when people are so callously rude.

She probably had a miserable life.

You did well.

Artsy VaVa said...

You are too funny! I always get the person behind me that sighs so loud they can be heard in the next county when they see my coupons! Maybe if they were using coupons and saving some money they could go buy a drink and chill out!

Marilyn said...

I am so GOOD at thinking of (IN)appropriate answers a day or week later. But, just once I'd love to pop off my mouth at someone that was making a stupid remark. Glad to chuckle with you today.♥♫

The Domestic Fox said...

ROTFLOL!!! My answer is always - I could teach you how to do this - but it would be a waste of my time because you would just comment on how much work it was. People just KILL me with their comments on things that are really none of their business. Big couponer here too - and having a teenage boy and all of his friends at my house all the time - and the other four family members - we go through more than most people do in a week or two. So yeah - totally feel your sarcasm...

Shelley said...

Ahhh hahaha!!! You're right, I did almost pee my pants! Don't you wish you could go back in time and say one of those clever remarks right back at her?! Grumpy fart. You are too funny :D

Impatient Girl said...

Someone did something similar to me when buying 8 peanut butter jars... I turned around and said, almost yelling because I was exhausted, "I HAVE THREE TEENAGERS AND THEY EAT EVERYTHING!!". Well they're preteens but they EAT like teenagers. Some people gaped some laughed but the man shut up. The cashier who's ALWAYS there when I go just smiled as always. lol

Carla said...

Just found your blog and it's great! Sound like some of my days. Thanks for making me smile at your expense. Sorry about that part.

~The Bargain Babe said...

haha. ohmygosh. yes. opinions are like buttholes. everyone has one, most of them stink and they should all be kept to themselves and only revealed if ASKED.

16 juices is really not huge, IMO. If you drink one a week, this will last you 4 months. Which is great. But it isn't like you are stockpiling 10 yrs worth. kwim?

Kelli @ The Turquoise Piano said...

Haha! People suck sometimes.

I have problems every time I go coupon shopping. But cheap and free crap is great so I still do it (or I will when we get the paper again).

Christina said...

Oh goodness - your story had me laughing so hard!!!!

Although, I think you did handle it quite well. I can barely stand it when people think they have to be so rude - but, it's always better to be the bigger person in these situations. I'm just glad you had some hilariously clever alternatives to share with the rest of us!

Take care,

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